So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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