My friends, they love my intelligence
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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