He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
