I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
