You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize