i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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