is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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