Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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