I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's official drugs can't kill me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We are all done wearing pants today
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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