how can u be prego again
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize