Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i think i just lost a toe
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
