oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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