areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
