What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
