Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
