It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize