he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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