I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
