This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
