So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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