id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
