smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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