Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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