Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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