Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My feet surprised me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
