census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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