I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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