If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
