The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
