i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
