Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
