When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
