Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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