so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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