Jerry, you need to find god
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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