Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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