spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
