Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
