sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
