umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
