I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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