I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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