Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
