He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
