she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
