You just made me feel so damn special
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This house was built for laser tag.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
