ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
