Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
