what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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