Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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