they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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