Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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