the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize