haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
