I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
