wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize