Do you still have your period?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
