About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
