I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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