in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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