Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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