love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
